Blessed

Oh my goodness. For the last few weeks I have been dreading the day my Board scores would arrive. I even started planning alternative careers so if I found I failed again I wouldn't be so stressed out. I had a nanny job lined up and everything--just needed the baby to actually be conceived first.

Today I had off and was cleaning up my office (because it is always a mess) and trying to organize things from 2008 but I needed to print off one thing online. I went to my mail and staring me in my face was the message titled Pediatric Board Score Report. At that point I started to hyperventilate. I debated not opening it until somebody was around so if anything happened they could be there to revive me, call 911, whatever. My heart was beating out of my chest, but I had to open it otherwise this feeling would be with me all day. So I did.

I went to the page smoothly then closed my eyes as I pushed the link to my letter. As I opened my eyes all I saw was the word "pleasure." "Pleasure" could only mean one thing right? Unless it said I have the pleasure to announce that you can no longer practice medicine? That would be a pleasure too right?

So I read the first sentence (and come to think of it, I still haven't read past that first sentence) and it told me it had the pleasure of letting me know I passed!!!!! PASSED!!!! Passed?!? Really? I read the line three times and each time it said passed. I then jumped out of my chair and started screaming and ran upstairs and still screaming started to cry. Then Tucker wanted to join and we sat on the stairs and cried and screamed and cried. For about 10 minutes I celebrated before I could settle myself down and read the line again just to make sure it was still true.

And then I thought I should check my score to see how I passed but then a quick thought of "what if the scores say I fail and the letter was wrong?" passed through my head. But it wasn't wrong. I passed and did much better than I thought I did.

Then I really began to thank God because it wasn't until then that I realized 2008 was a freakin' hard year. My first full year our of training, sick the first 4 months of the year, planning event after event with Give Back including one that stressed me out so much I was having heart palpitations, being involved with Angie's wedding, planning the party, the speech, and studying for my Boards.....what the heck was I thinking?????? But I did it.

God is so damn good!!!

Now I can live my life in 2009....including getting the room upstairs done, working on my garden, and whatever else may come my way!!! Thank the Lord.