Monday, December 22, 2008

The Other Side to Christmas

Most years Christmas is full of joy and reunions, smile and cheers.

This Christmas has been a little different. The joy has been taken from so many in the last month. This week it finally got to me.

It started a month or so ago when Todd lost his grandfather. I was strong for the most part, cried a bitat the funeral, was supportive as much as I could be for the family. This Christmas they are missing their grandfather, father, brother, friend.

Then a sudden trend began around me in the last 2 weeks. My sister's best friend's father dies in his sleep unexpectedly. Our office manager's younger brother dies in a car accident during a snow storm. One of our nurse's nephews falls of a roof he was doing work on and dies.

These were all very upsetting. We cancelled our office Christmas party. The Jellison's mood wasn't so Christmassy at their recent Christmas celebration.

But then my Church experienced something that has shook so many and was the final straw for me. A young 22-23 year old girl who was involved with the Church and was performing in the annual Christmas presentation fell from a height of 20 some feet in front of hundreds of people while flying across the Church as a wise man. After many perfected practices and rehearsals this opening night production would be different. This girl, Keri, would fall and die and affect the Church forever.

And that's when I started wondering "How could God let this happen in his own Church? His own Church? A Church that brings nonbelievers closer to him every week?" How? Won't this just scare everybody away from him? Won't this make people angry and doubtful of His very presence. A part of me began to feel connected to Crossroads for the first time. I wanted to be there for the Church.

Then I heard the most beautiful thing at service this past weekend. It wasn't about all of the guilt everybody was feeling, all the shame, all the desires of the staff to just run away and never come back. It was the story of Keri's family who the day of her death came to the church and blessed the staff, held them in their arms and told them it wasn't there fault.

That was beautiful. That was God.

So now I'm feeling a little bit scared because if God wasn't the one to make this happen, who was? And for the first time I actually believe there may be a devil. He was trying his dang hardest to make something bad happen in a church so full of goodness and in front of hundreds of likely nonbelievers or maybe believers. Oh what horror and what a spectacle for him to cause. People would surely run.

And then I am reminded of the family again. Keri fell, yes, but Jesus came and picked her up and brought her to heaven. She had ascended in the church, ascended in front of hundreds. The family reassured the staff that God was there.

How beautiful. How strong. How truly with God this family is. No matter if they start to doubt in the next few months or years or feel bitter against Crossroads they have showed a truly wonderful strength that only God could give.

This trumps the devil's work. Hands down.

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

Christmas is coming....

....fast.

I have so much to do.

Tucker is now 31#, going to puppy classes and going through some sort of stage of fear. He won't walk past the new refridgerator, is petrified of Miranda (my little moody cat), and spent 3 nights crying his eyes out last week. Classes are ok except he is super hyper. He won't concentrate longer than a minute but when the instructor is nearby he is all ears, sitting up straight, ready to perform. What a brown noser!

As for Christmas things are more together than last year. I have a big tree this year. No more Charlie Browner! Christmas gifts are mostly bought and wrapped but there are still a few gifts to buy and they are always the hardest. It's epsecially hard to buy for somebody who just got married and was showered with gifts.

Todd and I are heading to Buffalo for Christmas. It seems so far away but it is only 2 weeks. Time is flying. I am only a tad worried because Todd is not able to buy much this Christmas for others and my family will likely expect something small. They won't be too upset with nothing but seeing they got him something they will likely compare him to my brother's girlfriend Nikki (who gets each of us a gift for Christmas).

I wish Todd would find a job he enjoyed. He was always in a good mood when he was at GE. He was talkative and awake and always motivated to work hard. Now he is always tired and unmotivated unless I say something. I hate saying something. It makes me feel like a nag. He has so much to give. He really does. I pray that he finds a job that is stable and enjoyable in the next 2 months. I also pray he doesn't lose the current job he has due to the economic hardtimes everybody is facing at this time.

As for the new year....we'll see what happens.