Wednesday, January 28, 2009

25 random things

Taken from a challenge on facebook. Enjoy.

1. I love snow! But I don't ski, snowboard, ice skate, etc. What I do love is sitting by a fire, next to a window with a big mug of fresh hot coffee in my hands wathcing the snow fall.
2. I miss Buffalo....a lot these days. I miss the people, the food, the lake, the river.
3. I love the outdoors....walks in the park, walks in the snow, camping, hiking, paddling, biking. There is no better way to spend a day than outdoors.
4. Living in Cincinnati has opened up a world of opportunities for me. I wouldn't be as far as I am today without the ease I found of getting involved initially at Xavier. It's the reason I stayed for med school and the reason I likely was able to stay for residency.
5. Volunteering has been a big part of my life. I'm not sure where the drive to volunteer comes from (maybe it's the whole Catholic thing?) but it has been one of my personal priorities in life. That said some of the best people I've met have been through volunteering--i.e. Give Back Cincinnati--I've never met people I've bonded with so quickly then with GBC.
6. My friends mean the world to me. Each one has touched my life in some way. Past and present friends have all added to the person I am today. I am grateful for that.
7. One thing I don't get from my friends--my tendencies to being a little crazy. Some people say sassy but let's face it---crazy at times. This craziness is all the stored up energy I keep inside all day at work. If you're "lucky" enough to experience it--then you are one of my closest friends.
8. I often think about what my life would be like if I went to a different high school. I wouldn't change it for anything though.
9. I hate cats. I really do. I have adopted 2 cats and I love them dearly but as a whole....I despise cats.
10. Being a physician has already worn me down and I often think about becoming a barista at a local coffee shop. Too bad I have loans to pay off.
11. I am a saver. Meaning I save money like it's about to lose all it's value. Saving is not good in my case--I have loans with high interest rates that steal my money much faster than I can save.
12. My dream vacation spot is Greece.
13. I would love to finish a century ride someday. I have yet to work hard enough to reach this goal. This is more realistic than my real goal of finishing a triathalon. I laugh just thinking about it.
14. I love reading a good book--at the pool, on the beach, near a fire, on my couch. Mmmmmmm pure heaven.
15. I am Catholic but have turned into one of "those" Catholics who only go to church on Easter and Christmas. Instead I have found a great home at Crossroads Community Church where I have a great community of friends, have found true connections with God on a more regular basis and have been growing as a person, becoming more whole.
16. I am labeled a "liberal" but sometimes feel very indecisive on some issues in which case I would think this would make me more middle of the road with some liberal tendencies. The truth is I am really becoming more aware of the whole political system since finishing residency---so I expect this to evolve over time.
17. Speaking of changing...since residency I have been able to become more in touch with myself and the outside world (from medicine). This has been life changing and enjoyable in every aspect. I think I may have become a little more human.
18. I want to be one of those old ladies someday that get together with their other old lady and old man friends/husbands and have daily coffee at Burger King (or where ever) and chat about, laugh about current and past events. "Remember when???"
19. 25 things is a lot of things.
20. I love dresses, especially little summer dresses.
21. I used to want 6 kids. I was crazy then. Now I want 1-2.
22. Snuggies aren't that bad. Really. I can type on my computer without the blanket falling off. Ingenious.
23. People who feel entitled make me furious.
24. Watching the birth of a baby still makes me cry....every stinkin' time.
25. My favorite person is any person who can make me laugh. :)

...no good, very bad day

Yes that is what today is.

The snow and ice came last night and how beautiful the city looks! It's lit up in white and glistening in the sunlight after the storm has passed through. But for some reason today I have made many stupid decisions and little bad things just keep happening.

1. I woke up to find the little tree, the one that survived the "hurricane" back in September, had lost a large limb which is, in reality, a third of the tree. Down in the street covered in ice and snow. Another tree bites the dust. I only can hope the rest of the now weeping tree will grow back in the spring.

#2. I am on call tonight. That's not the bad part. the office is actually closed so I don't have to be there unless there is a c-section. The bad part is that I had to shovel and deice the driveway and my car. The stupid decision I made was that I would shovel the driveway and then while my car was warming up try to see if it would backup ok. It did. So then I decided to pull it back up to where it was. Bad idea. I ran into my hose holder and now the front bumper is cracked and banged in. My baby.....ruined.

#3. Even before that happened I was looking at the fallen limb in the street and mourning it's loss. A neighbor walked by and decided to mourn with me. As I went to reach for the tree to move it out of the street the man walked away. Not even a bit regretful of the fact that I was going to be moving the very large limb from the street by myself. Eergh.

#4. I was sanding the door in my room under construction upstairs today and made a mess of it. Scratches everywhere. Dents in places they shouldn't be. A mess.

#5. This is not even part of the day, really, more like my everyday thoughts but since today has especially been kicking me in the butt it becomes that much worse in my head. I am trying to figure out what I really want in a relationship and have been questioning my current one. He knows about it and really it's not him. It's me. No really. I just don't know what I want and at this point in a relationship (1.5 years) you should know. I should know.

So that is my day in a nutshell and there is still a whole afternoon and evening and overnight left. What more could possibly happen? Well I guess I can think of a lot of things and I hope none of it happens.

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Blessed

Oh my goodness. For the last few weeks I have been dreading the day my Board scores would arrive. I even started planning alternative careers so if I found I failed again I wouldn't be so stressed out. I had a nanny job lined up and everything--just needed the baby to actually be conceived first.

Today I had off and was cleaning up my office (because it is always a mess) and trying to organize things from 2008 but I needed to print off one thing online. I went to my mail and staring me in my face was the message titled Pediatric Board Score Report. At that point I started to hyperventilate. I debated not opening it until somebody was around so if anything happened they could be there to revive me, call 911, whatever. My heart was beating out of my chest, but I had to open it otherwise this feeling would be with me all day. So I did.

I went to the page smoothly then closed my eyes as I pushed the link to my letter. As I opened my eyes all I saw was the word "pleasure." "Pleasure" could only mean one thing right? Unless it said I have the pleasure to announce that you can no longer practice medicine? That would be a pleasure too right?

So I read the first sentence (and come to think of it, I still haven't read past that first sentence) and it told me it had the pleasure of letting me know I passed!!!!! PASSED!!!! Passed?!? Really? I read the line three times and each time it said passed. I then jumped out of my chair and started screaming and ran upstairs and still screaming started to cry. Then Tucker wanted to join and we sat on the stairs and cried and screamed and cried. For about 10 minutes I celebrated before I could settle myself down and read the line again just to make sure it was still true.

And then I thought I should check my score to see how I passed but then a quick thought of "what if the scores say I fail and the letter was wrong?" passed through my head. But it wasn't wrong. I passed and did much better than I thought I did.

Then I really began to thank God because it wasn't until then that I realized 2008 was a freakin' hard year. My first full year our of training, sick the first 4 months of the year, planning event after event with Give Back including one that stressed me out so much I was having heart palpitations, being involved with Angie's wedding, planning the party, the speech, and studying for my Boards.....what the heck was I thinking?????? But I did it.

God is so damn good!!!

Now I can live my life in 2009....including getting the room upstairs done, working on my garden, and whatever else may come my way!!! Thank the Lord.