Cleaning up!

The wedding is over.

The thank yous are written. (Thank goodness)

The weather is getting colder.

What is there left to do?

Clean up, of course! I am now on the way to a clean home. It's a long way off but I'm going to get there. I have so many closets stuffed with, well, stuff. And the wedding room needs to be retired. Instead the dirty dress is sitting on the chair, the boxes of left over wedding paper and pictures stacked up. Retire already!

There is so much more time now to do things yet all I want to do is sit. October has been a mentally draining month. With all of the death and tragic accidents occurring around us I am ready for a new month, a new trend of life altering events.

So that brings me to babies. Yes - having babies. Todd and I are not necessarily wanting a baby right at this moment but we aren't exactly trying not to have one. We want a family and we would ideally like to have a child after Todd graduates. Well Todd plans on graduating in 10-11 months. Whoa! That hit me today like a ton of bricks. It hit me while I was planning on what dress I was going to wear for my coworkers wedding at the end if April and then again as I was thinking of how poor my diet is and how much I should be taking a vitamin. So I went to the store and I bought prenatal vitamins. What?!?

Now I am a little freaked out but I can't imagine being so irresponsible that I totally neglect my body and then get pregnant. I am a pediatrician for goodness sake! So I've decided that I should start caring...in case of emergency. They say you should start taking vitamins a few months before you think you will get pregnant. And that time has come. So I'm cleaning up my house and my body!

On to better things...

One night

This past weekend we celebrated another wedding between our friends Jeff and Jenn. We set them up a year ago and they tied the knot 5 weeks after us. I am so happy for them. Their wedding night was a nice celebration with a live band and good friends and family. At the end of the night began a series of events I may never forget, but I hope the bride never remembers. 

I am going to skip those details, however, as everything turned out ok. Instead I am going to move on to something that happened while we were celebrating in another part of the city. It was our friend Seth's 30th surprise birthday party. We couldn't attend because of the wedding but we knew a lot of our friends were gathering right around the corner from our house to celebrate this amazing man. 

Around 9:15pm that night people began leaving Seth's celebration. His best friend Ryan, Ryan's wife and their 22month old headed out behind Seth's mom and grandma.  A few minutes later Seth received a call from his mom that there was an accident that happened right behind them and they thought it was his friend's family in the car. Seth and Mike (another friend) immediately ran down to the corner to find what I hope someday they will be able to forget. Ryan was being resuscitated, his wife Erin was being pulled from the car. Seth and Mike stepped in to help. Ambulances arrived - 3 of them. One took Erin to University quickly. Another took Summer (their child) to Childrens. And the third drove off slowly with Ryan inside. Little did anybody know that would be the last time they saw Ryan. He passed away that night while his wife and little girl were rushed to the hospital. His wife would not find out the news to the next day when she got out of surgery for a subdural hematoma (head bleed). Summer, in the meantime, is being taken care of at Children's, the only people surrounding her were her parents' friends. How scared she must have been. She sustained great injuries to her upper spine and went to surgery yesterday. The doctor's have hope that she will do well after much recovery. We can only pray.

Our friends are some of the most caring people I will ever know. They have been there for the family every minute taking only a few hours to rest and stop home to clean up and take care of their own child. Seth and Mike have the images of the crash in their minds....Seth will never see his best friend again....life seems so precious for all of us. All we can do is pray.

Most people ask how did it happen? It wasn't a drunk driver as most people think. It was a 49 year old man who went into a diabetic coma behind the wheel. He ran the red light and t-boned them on the driver's side. Ryan was driving. The man suffered little injury and is ok.

The thoughts are now to their future. Erin is a pediatrician (we went to Xavier and UC for schooling, she 2 years behind me). She was supposed to take her boards this month. Her daughter was a daddy's girl. Ryan's facebook profile shows just how much she loved him and he her. What happens when they head back home to the Columbus area and they walk into their home to see Ryan's stuff lying around, his dirty laundry ready to be washed, his pillows with his scent still on them? My heart breaks and tears fall whenever I think of this. For Erin, Summer, Ryan's family, Seth and his wife Sally, Mike and his wife Sara my thoughts and prayers are with you. I cannot imagine what you are going through. I only wish you strength, hope, and peace.

I can only pray.

The Big Day

The big day, our day, has come and gone. What an amazing time we had the entire wedding weekend! There is so much to blog about but I'm gonna keep it short.

Friday I awoke to a packed day that would soon end with a packed house. In the morning I headed out with "my girls" to get pedicures and Todd with "his guys" to go shooting. It was great to have some down time before the craziness would begin.

After lunch we came back and prepared for the rehearsal dinner - a BBQ at our house. We had a ton of help and were finished just in time for the actual rehearsal. Timely as anything, our entire crew was ready at the church at least 10 minutes before the time we were supposed to begin. Wow! And that is the way the rest of the weekend would continue - ahead of schedule.

The rehearsal dinner was something to remember. When I walked into our backyard something wasn't right. There was a man doing caricatures of couples. Where did he come from? Such a surprise. The out of town guests seemed to have a great time as the BBQ continued late into the evening.

Surprisingly I slept well that evening and was up early and ready to go. My Maid of Honor, sister and mom went to the salon to get pretty, came home to get dressed and then headed to the church for pics.

After formal pics the waiting began. I still wasn't nervous yet and was just going with the flow until about 1 minute before I walked down the aisle. That's when I realized I wasn't a bridesmaid this time. All of my girls were already walking down the aisle. They were closing the doors. This was it! I began to cry and then quickly realized I had to walk in and see some 150 people+ staring at me. So I sucked it up and was all clear before the doors opened again!

Todd, however, could not keep his face dry! And that kept me from breaking down. Everything about the ceremony was as planned and so much more beautiful in real life then in my head! My brother sang tremendously (and with little time to rehearse), the readers were strong and clear, the readings just hit me in the head and the heart, the vows were so true to us (and we snickered a little because they were so true), the unity candle moment a blessing, and our pastor truly brought it all together so perfectly. I couldn't have dreamed it could be anything like it was.

After we sealed the deal we had our group pics and then we were ready to party!

I think all of our guests were ready to party too because in all my life I haven't seen so many of the people I know all together on one small dance floor dancing their behinds off and having a good time. That is what I'll remember. The smiles, the dancing, the laughter and to top it all off my grandmother (who was nervous to even come down to Cincinnati, who is sometimes even nervous to stand up in a big crowd) hit the dance floor. And when I say hit, I mean dance. And dance we all did until the music stopped.

Oh what a night!

What a hypocrite I am!

I'm back.

I'm back because a friend started a blog today and I remembered I, too, have a blog.

And then I started reading my blog--this blog. And I got all the way back to August 8, 2008 and that's when I realized I am a hypocrite. On August 8, 2008 I said plain and simple that I did not want a big wedding.

Guess what?

I'm having a big wedding.

I should go back a bit. Todd proposed to me on September 30, 2009 and I said yes! I was ready. I had been hinting at it since the summer of 2009. I guess when you're ready things change. Maybe. Oh we would still love to have a small wedding with a big party after the honeymoon but my family is HUGE! 110 people from Buffalo alone. 350 people on the guest list. Where did all these people come from???

What I've learned about my family is that once you're in, you're in. That means everyone from 6th cousins and up come to everything or at least are invited to everything. Because it isn't fair otherwise.

Wow!

So we're going to a chapel...and we're going to get married...and then we're having a huge party to celebrate it all.

August 28, 2010. We'll be at a very big wedding and it will be ours. I only hope that everyone who comes has a great time. Because I definitely hated weddings on August 8, 2008 and now I want everyone to come to ours.

Hypocrite.

25 random things

Taken from a challenge on facebook. Enjoy.

1. I love snow! But I don't ski, snowboard, ice skate, etc. What I do love is sitting by a fire, next to a window with a big mug of fresh hot coffee in my hands wathcing the snow fall.
2. I miss Buffalo....a lot these days. I miss the people, the food, the lake, the river.
3. I love the outdoors....walks in the park, walks in the snow, camping, hiking, paddling, biking. There is no better way to spend a day than outdoors.
4. Living in Cincinnati has opened up a world of opportunities for me. I wouldn't be as far as I am today without the ease I found of getting involved initially at Xavier. It's the reason I stayed for med school and the reason I likely was able to stay for residency.
5. Volunteering has been a big part of my life. I'm not sure where the drive to volunteer comes from (maybe it's the whole Catholic thing?) but it has been one of my personal priorities in life. That said some of the best people I've met have been through volunteering--i.e. Give Back Cincinnati--I've never met people I've bonded with so quickly then with GBC.
6. My friends mean the world to me. Each one has touched my life in some way. Past and present friends have all added to the person I am today. I am grateful for that.
7. One thing I don't get from my friends--my tendencies to being a little crazy. Some people say sassy but let's face it---crazy at times. This craziness is all the stored up energy I keep inside all day at work. If you're "lucky" enough to experience it--then you are one of my closest friends.
8. I often think about what my life would be like if I went to a different high school. I wouldn't change it for anything though.
9. I hate cats. I really do. I have adopted 2 cats and I love them dearly but as a whole....I despise cats.
10. Being a physician has already worn me down and I often think about becoming a barista at a local coffee shop. Too bad I have loans to pay off.
11. I am a saver. Meaning I save money like it's about to lose all it's value. Saving is not good in my case--I have loans with high interest rates that steal my money much faster than I can save.
12. My dream vacation spot is Greece.
13. I would love to finish a century ride someday. I have yet to work hard enough to reach this goal. This is more realistic than my real goal of finishing a triathalon. I laugh just thinking about it.
14. I love reading a good book--at the pool, on the beach, near a fire, on my couch. Mmmmmmm pure heaven.
15. I am Catholic but have turned into one of "those" Catholics who only go to church on Easter and Christmas. Instead I have found a great home at Crossroads Community Church where I have a great community of friends, have found true connections with God on a more regular basis and have been growing as a person, becoming more whole.
16. I am labeled a "liberal" but sometimes feel very indecisive on some issues in which case I would think this would make me more middle of the road with some liberal tendencies. The truth is I am really becoming more aware of the whole political system since finishing residency---so I expect this to evolve over time.
17. Speaking of changing...since residency I have been able to become more in touch with myself and the outside world (from medicine). This has been life changing and enjoyable in every aspect. I think I may have become a little more human.
18. I want to be one of those old ladies someday that get together with their other old lady and old man friends/husbands and have daily coffee at Burger King (or where ever) and chat about, laugh about current and past events. "Remember when???"
19. 25 things is a lot of things.
20. I love dresses, especially little summer dresses.
21. I used to want 6 kids. I was crazy then. Now I want 1-2.
22. Snuggies aren't that bad. Really. I can type on my computer without the blanket falling off. Ingenious.
23. People who feel entitled make me furious.
24. Watching the birth of a baby still makes me cry....every stinkin' time.
25. My favorite person is any person who can make me laugh. :)

...no good, very bad day

Yes that is what today is.

The snow and ice came last night and how beautiful the city looks! It's lit up in white and glistening in the sunlight after the storm has passed through. But for some reason today I have made many stupid decisions and little bad things just keep happening.

1. I woke up to find the little tree, the one that survived the "hurricane" back in September, had lost a large limb which is, in reality, a third of the tree. Down in the street covered in ice and snow. Another tree bites the dust. I only can hope the rest of the now weeping tree will grow back in the spring.

#2. I am on call tonight. That's not the bad part. the office is actually closed so I don't have to be there unless there is a c-section. The bad part is that I had to shovel and deice the driveway and my car. The stupid decision I made was that I would shovel the driveway and then while my car was warming up try to see if it would backup ok. It did. So then I decided to pull it back up to where it was. Bad idea. I ran into my hose holder and now the front bumper is cracked and banged in. My baby.....ruined.

#3. Even before that happened I was looking at the fallen limb in the street and mourning it's loss. A neighbor walked by and decided to mourn with me. As I went to reach for the tree to move it out of the street the man walked away. Not even a bit regretful of the fact that I was going to be moving the very large limb from the street by myself. Eergh.

#4. I was sanding the door in my room under construction upstairs today and made a mess of it. Scratches everywhere. Dents in places they shouldn't be. A mess.

#5. This is not even part of the day, really, more like my everyday thoughts but since today has especially been kicking me in the butt it becomes that much worse in my head. I am trying to figure out what I really want in a relationship and have been questioning my current one. He knows about it and really it's not him. It's me. No really. I just don't know what I want and at this point in a relationship (1.5 years) you should know. I should know.

So that is my day in a nutshell and there is still a whole afternoon and evening and overnight left. What more could possibly happen? Well I guess I can think of a lot of things and I hope none of it happens.

Blessed

Oh my goodness. For the last few weeks I have been dreading the day my Board scores would arrive. I even started planning alternative careers so if I found I failed again I wouldn't be so stressed out. I had a nanny job lined up and everything--just needed the baby to actually be conceived first.

Today I had off and was cleaning up my office (because it is always a mess) and trying to organize things from 2008 but I needed to print off one thing online. I went to my mail and staring me in my face was the message titled Pediatric Board Score Report. At that point I started to hyperventilate. I debated not opening it until somebody was around so if anything happened they could be there to revive me, call 911, whatever. My heart was beating out of my chest, but I had to open it otherwise this feeling would be with me all day. So I did.

I went to the page smoothly then closed my eyes as I pushed the link to my letter. As I opened my eyes all I saw was the word "pleasure." "Pleasure" could only mean one thing right? Unless it said I have the pleasure to announce that you can no longer practice medicine? That would be a pleasure too right?

So I read the first sentence (and come to think of it, I still haven't read past that first sentence) and it told me it had the pleasure of letting me know I passed!!!!! PASSED!!!! Passed?!? Really? I read the line three times and each time it said passed. I then jumped out of my chair and started screaming and ran upstairs and still screaming started to cry. Then Tucker wanted to join and we sat on the stairs and cried and screamed and cried. For about 10 minutes I celebrated before I could settle myself down and read the line again just to make sure it was still true.

And then I thought I should check my score to see how I passed but then a quick thought of "what if the scores say I fail and the letter was wrong?" passed through my head. But it wasn't wrong. I passed and did much better than I thought I did.

Then I really began to thank God because it wasn't until then that I realized 2008 was a freakin' hard year. My first full year our of training, sick the first 4 months of the year, planning event after event with Give Back including one that stressed me out so much I was having heart palpitations, being involved with Angie's wedding, planning the party, the speech, and studying for my Boards.....what the heck was I thinking?????? But I did it.

God is so damn good!!!

Now I can live my life in 2009....including getting the room upstairs done, working on my garden, and whatever else may come my way!!! Thank the Lord.